After watching the news conference the other day given by the Larimer County Sheriff, I felt the only people who were interested in criminal charges in this incident were representatives of the news media.

Why? I'll tell you why. Because they were made to look foolish, inept and willing to run with a story no matter how ridiculous, just to get the scoop. I think that some of these jokers would back legislation that would make lying to a news troll a criminal offense. God forbid someone puts one over on them and shows what idiots they really are.

With the vast collection of resources and personnel at their disposal they still weren't able to find someone with enough mental horsepower to know that that balloon wasn't large enough to lift a bowling ball to 6 thousand feet. Never mind a 50 lb human being. Makes you wonder how much research goes behind the other stuff that they report.

Pffffh!

I broke down the other day and ordered a light kit. For those in the cult of You Tube there is a never ending chase to create higher quality videos. I started playing around with ChromaKey (also known as Green Screen) technology the magic stuff that allows the film maker to place themselves in a set or image that would be otherwise impossible or expensive. You've seen it.. weather people use it all the time.

The biggest problem with setting up green screen correctly is lighting the backdrop, because the process relies on a consistent color in the background. It turns out that the trick is to hit the screen with as much light as possible. Enough light to cause the screen to appear to 'glow'. Then place the subject far enough away from the screen that they don't cast a shadow and light them separately. Then even if they do cast a shadow the illumination on the screen is so bright that it overcomes any other light sources.

My search began on EBAY and the internet. I acquainted myself with the different types of lighting apparatus' and decided that I needed something called a softbox. These come in many different types with a large range in price and quality. I made the trip to the local camera supply shop looked at their prices, turned on my heel and exited stage left. So after much handwringing I decided to buy a kit that was offered on eBay. Since I wasn't really expecting too much, I was prepared to be disappointed when the kit arrived.

To my surprise it turned out to be better than I expected. 2 cheap aluminum stands, 2 Light fixtures (also cheap), 2 umbrellas (cheap) and 2 85 watt 5500* Kelvin fluorescent bulbs. The same bulbs that were being sold at the camera supply store for 35 dollars each. The fixtures were wired with zip cord and 2 prong plugs but I didn't see a reason to expect professional grade design. I assembled everything and fired up the lamp.

Yes I did say lamp.... one lamp. The second lamp emitted an anemic flicker and died.

**sigh** I guess it was to be expected.

So I sent an email to the company who had sold me the kit explaining my situation. They were very accommodating and immediately shipped me a new lamp. They didn't even ask for the faulty lamp to be returned.

I did say a question of ethics didn't I?

The company didn't ask for a return of the bad lamp. The assumption was that the item was bad and it was cheaper to let me dispose of it than to pay for return shipping. So being the curious person that I am, I decided to dig into the broken bulb to see if there was something that I could fix. I am a technician, it's what I do. As it turns out there was something I could fix, after disassembling the bulb I discovered that there was a very small electronic circuit board concealed in the base. I troubleshot the problem to a bad connection on one of the ballast transformers, I reassembled everything and now I have a spare working light bulb.

Now the question: I suspected when the lamp didn't work in the first place that this was what I would find, if I wanted to attempt to fix the bulb myself. But I felt that the seller was obligated to sell me functioning equipment, although I am perfectly able to fix these items. I was willing to wait for a replacement and didn't feel that I wanted to hazard an attempt to repair the bulb. There was a possibility that I might be blamed for damaging the bulb and wind up with nothing. And I was even willing to ship the damaged item back to the seller if they paid the freight.

So am I doing something unethical by keeping the now functional bulb?

Dear Bank,

You have lost my business. You are obviously troubled.

When I call your customer service telephone number I am forced to enter a bunch of numbers and answer a number of questions before your computer will let me talk to a real person. If I refuse to punch the numbers in or am unable to answer the number of questions your computer stonewalls me. It gives me no alternatives, a virtual blockade. It just repeats the questions. Until I hang up in disgust.

I do not do business that way because I prefer to hear a real human voice on the other end of the phone. And besides, if I do relent and punch the numbers in, the human will always ask me for the numbers anyway.... again...and again.

So what is the point? Having to repeat myself is a very frustrating thing.  I do not want to jump through your hoops to talk to a real human being. But your computer obviously wants to control the course of communication and computers can be frustrating things.

I have not called to seek my balances or what payments have been credited or debited while you shuffle your feet and stall for time. I do not want to know what "great deals" you have on interest bearing products. Or that I am 100 percent protected under the FDIC up to Two Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars.... something I am well aware of.

I want to talk to a real breathing human being with blood pumping through their veins.

Your music is quite nice and very relaxing. But when it starts over again it just reminds me that I have been waiting just that much longer.

Yes, I do know that I can access my account on the internet, thank you. Yes I do understand this, thanks so much. No, you don't have to continue to tell me this as I am quite attentive and able to understand what I hear. Thanks.

Do you think I would be calling if I could get what I needed on the internet?

Oh and when I try to use you customer service chat feature on the internet no one is there. It told me to call here.

You are obviously troubled.

When I do travel to the bank everyone there has the shell shocked look of a returning vet. They flinch when the phone rings or they have the forced smile of a prisoner pleading for release. You are obviously troubled.

These tactics are indicative of a person who is afraid to answer the phone because it might be someone they owe.

"ahh....Hello"?
"Hi! Is Bank there"?
"Umm.... ahhhem...who's calling "?

Before I go, I just want to say that the reason that I called wasn't because you owed me money or did anything wrong or screwed up in any way, until now. It was because I wanted to do business with you.

But I guess it was just too much trouble.

Sincerely
JimmerSD